Please keep your opinions on my belly size to yourself, jerkface.

I am tall (5'10") and, until about six months ago, thin. I feel like my belly is quite large and continues to grow larger with each passing day (and Cook-Out milkshake). Apparently the rest of the world does not.

I am so over the constant "I can't believe you are so far along!" and "But you're so small!" A while ago I read a post (I wish I remembered where) on how a pregnant woman's belly will never be the right size, people will constantly tell a pregnant woman that her belly is either too big or too small, or both. SO TRUE.

People, please keep your opinions on my belly size to yourself. I actually find it sort of offensive when people tell me that my belly is small. I realize that many of them intend it to be a compliment since our culture is so fucked up and obsessed with weight that people think that telling a PREGNANT woman that her belly is small is a good thing

What these people don't know, is that we have a marginal cord insertion, which means that the umbilical cord is attached to the side of the placenta instead of the center, which in some cases can lead to undernourishment. We've been monitoring her growth and I am happy to report that as of last week, she is roughly four pounds which is perfectly average for 32 weeks! But my baby being too small is still a sensitive subject for me.

So please, tell a pregnant woman that she is beautiful, she is glowing, or even that her tits look fantastic, but keep your opinions on her belly size to yourself. She gives zero shits about your arbitrary opinion on the size of her baby belly, I promise.

Fun fact: your belly size (from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus when lying down)  should roughly equal the number of weeks that you are pregnant. For example, the fact that I am 32 weeks pregnant and my belly measures 32 centimeters means that I am actually textbook average. Booyah!

I love my perfectly average baby belly. Suck it haters.