Lillian Isadore: The Birth Story

So this post turned out to be rather long. But then again, so was the labor so whatever. I'm a total birth story junkie, but if it isn't your thing, just scroll down to the bottom, admire the cute result and then move on, no hard feelings. Ok, here it goes...

I really wanted a natural birth. I took the classes. I read the books. I read all the bloggy birth stories I could find. She dropped a couple weeks before my due date of December 16th, I was slightly dilated, and her head was beginning to move down through my pelvis. So when my due date came and went and my doctors started offering me the induction option, I politely declined because I was absolutely sure that I would go into labor naturally before I hit the 42 week mark. Spoiler alert: I didn't

Once I hit week 41 I started trying EVERYTHING to get labor going without medical intervention. Power walking, squats, jumping jacks, spicy foods, castor oil, primrose oil, nipple stimulation, acupuncture, acupressure, reiki, hot epsom salt baths, meditating, and membrane stripping. NOTHING WORKED. Meanwhile, every time the doctors checked me during week 40 and 41 they were all "Oh, you're definitely going to go into labor any day now. There's no way you'll last until your next check up..."

I started having small contractions Christmas day (9 days past the due date). They would get stronger when I exercised and then taper off when I rested. On December 30th I had my membranes stripped and immediately power walked four miles. I started having uncomfortable contractions every 5 minutes and we got excited. They kept happening for several hours and were getting increasingly uncomfortable, some were even painful. We were sure that this was "it." Then they stopped.

New Year's Eve (15 days past the due date) we headed in for our 4:00am induction appointment (see above photo). The doctors had reached the point where they were freaking out about the possibility of meconium aspiration and were very uncomfortable with waiting any longer for labor to start naturally. I barely slept the night before because DUH I was going to give birth to my baby the next day. We lay in bed talking about how New Year's Eve was the coolest birthday possible and how excited we were to meet our fashionably late little one.

I was still hoping for things to be as natural as possible, so the doctor stripped my membranes again and then inserted a cook catheter. He was confident that this would be the little nudge my body needed to go into labor. Nope. I started having contractions and eventually dilated to 6 cm, but when the catheter came out, the contractions stopped. At this point our favorite doctor's shift ended and a new doctor from the practice started. He was very "I haven't seen a baby this overdue in over 10 years. We need to get this baby out NOW!" He wanted to push Pitocin ASAP but we weren't comfortable with that yet; we wanted to explore every non-chemical option possible first.

So he broke the water instead. Luckily, the water was clear which meant no meconium and the doctor chilled out a bit. I was now wearing disposable mesh underwear filled with weird gigantic absorbent hospital pad things. (Labor is not glamorous, people. Not in the least.) Still no contractions. I paced back and forth in the five feet of pacing room the monitor wires would allow. I bounced on the yoga ball like my natural birth plans depended on it (which they did). I did a bajillion awkward pregnant lady squats. Nothing. Just the same teeny tiny contractions I had been having for the past week.

So he started Pitocin. We had been at the hospital for 16 hours trying to induce without medicine and it just wasn't going to happen. I cried. This was the moment that I had to let go of the natural birth I had been psyching myself up for for months. The IV was started, the Pitocin began to drip, and the contractions became stronger. We had been texting with our doula throughout the whole process; she came to the hospital at this point because Pitocin means it's about to go down.

Shit got real. I started to have realllllllllllllly intense back pain, and we realized that she was posterior (facing my front instead of my back). I labored in several positions that are supposed to help turn a baby. I couldn't lie down because it made the back pain worse. I labored in the shower while Lee sprayed super hot water on my lower back which helped a ton, but we couldn't do much of that because the doctor didn't like for me to be off the monitors for very long.

I labored on Pitocin without any sort of pain intervention for 18 hours***. That shit was no joke. By the end I was vomiting with every contraction and couldn't stand from exhaustion. I started to become delirious from lack of sleep (we had been at the hospital for over a day at this point). I would briefly fall asleep between contractions only to be awoken by a contraction moments later and there would be a few seconds where I had no idea where I was or what was going on. I was only dilated to 8 1/2 cm but her head was at station +3 (See the diagram below.) and we had been stuck like that for many hours without any progress, so the doctor just kept turning the Pitocin up higher and higher.

***I chose to labor without pain intervention because Pitocin contractions are longer, harder, and more frequent than natural contractions and can be really really hard on the baby. I wanted to be able to fully feel the contractions and as long as I could stand them, she could stand them. That was my reasoning, anyway.

Then I reached my limit. After 34 hours of being at the hospital and 18 hours of pitocin induced labor, I just couldn't do it anymore. I cried, I vomited, then I cried some more while my doula assured me that posterior babies often result in transfers from natural birth centers to hospitals so the moms can get epidurals because posterior labor is so painful. And sometimes the epidural allows the mom to relax enough for the baby to turn. I got the epidural. I opted for the lightest epidural possible and could still feel the contractions and move my legs. And I could lie down! I hadn't been able to lie in the bed for hours and hours due to the back pain and ohmygoodness it was amazing. I immediately took a 2 hour nap. The best nap of my life. Then, with the help of my wonderful doula, I did some different poses to help the baby turn.

When the doctor came in and checked me 2 1/2 hours after the epidural was administered, the baby had turned, I had dilated to 10 cm, and it was go time. I am really glad I got the light epidural, I could still feel the contractions and feel her head. Also, I never thought that I would want the mirror, but I am so so so glad I said yes when it was offered. I highly recommend it. Seeing it all happening was truly amazing and incredibly motivating when it came to the pushing. At one point her heart rate dropped a bit and I saw him get out the forceps. Hells no. I was not going to have forceps used on my baby (they can cause all sorts of issues later on). Those forceps just motivated me to push even harder.

I pushed for 1 1/2 hours and there she was! Our baby, in my arms. Mind. Blown. Hands down the most incredible experience of my life. The pain and misery of the past 22 hours of labor were a thing of the past. My perfect baby was in my arms and so tiny and so so adorable.

And as rough as that entire experience was, I am definitely planning to have more. The cliche is so true, as soon as your precious tiny baby is in your arms, you forget all about the labor. Suddenly, I could barely remember any of it. I was entranced by this tiny human I had created and she was all that mattered.

We decided that New Year's Day was an even cooler birthday than New Year's Eve.

We named her Lillian Isadore for her great-great-grandmother. Lillian was my middle name prior to getting married, and as a child I always wished it was my first name.

And 10 weeks later I am still 100% obsessed with this perfect tiny human being that I made. It still blows my mind that she's here and she's mine and she's so damn adorable.

Introducing Lillian Isadore!

She finally arrived! Born January 1, 2015 at 6:23pm at 7 lbs 3 oz and 22 inches, Lillian Isadore is the most perfect baby to ever grace this earth. She also has the coolest birthday ever. She is named for two of her great-great-grandmothers. One was my father's mother's mother, and the other was Lee's mother's mother's mother. Isadore was the middle name of the Lillian on my side.

 Less than an hour old.

She arrived 16 days after her due date. I'll do a separate post on the birth story, but I did have to be induced and it was not a quick labor. She was posterior and things progressed very slowly. The second she was put on my chest it was all worth it though.

She is the most perfect baby on the face of the earth. I know I'm a bit biased, but every doctor and nurse that saw her commented on her being cuter than the average newborn. Everything she does is overwhelmingly adorable.

She's long and skinny with long fingers and toes and big hands and feet. After they did the footprints in the delivery room, they held them up so all the nurses and doctor could marvel at how gigantic her feet are.

I think they're pretty cute.

My parents swear that she looks just like I did as a newborn (below). I was 7 lbs 11 oz and 22 inches.

We've spent the majority of our time since we got home just staring at her.

We still can't believe that she's here.

She's marvelous and perfect and amazing and can do no wrong. She's even cute while she poops herself.

Yup. Stilllllllllllll pregnant.

How jealous are you of my super sweet Chuck Norris style? This delightful hat/facial hair is the result of a very successful Dirty Santa game a couple of nights ago.

And as you can see, the offspring is still inside my belly. I've been saying from the beginning that she would be a Christmas Eve or Christmas baby. At this point, I'm really hoping that she is. I feel like a December 26th birthday would be such a letdown; nobody is motivated to celebrate on the day after Christmas.

We had a non-stress test and ultrasound on Monday because we hit the 41 week mark. She performed like a boss. Since I really want to avoid medical induction, I got lots of tips from my doula and birth class teacher to ensure that the doctors had no reason to want to induce immediately: I soaked in the tub right before the appointment and then downed a large Nalgene of water on the way, there was plenty of amniotic fluid. Right before the non-stress test I ate a granola bar with chocolate chips in it and chugged a bottle of orange juice, she went nuts. The doctor actually called her "an overachiever."

The doctor said everything looked great, and gave us another week to try to get things started. I've been power walking, squatting, and walking up and down stairs so hard that my thighs are sore. I've calmed down on the exercise because starting labor off with sore thighs seems like a really bad idea. I made a big pot of spicy veggie chili a couple days ago, and have been adding more and more hot sauce to every bowl. I've been taking long epsom salt baths. We've been having lots of awkward giant pregnant belly sex. I've been drinking pineapple juice. I've been taking evening primrose oil via my mouth and my vag. Guess what has happened? NOTHING. No signs of labor whatsoever.

It's time to step up my game. Yesterday afternoon I went to an acupuncturist who specializes in preggos and she stuck a bunch of needles in me that should get contractions started within 24ish hours. Last night I drank castor oil. I have until Tuesday to evict this kid and I am trying my hardest to make it happen today or tomorrow.

My mom and sister are here. This video best expresses the current situation in our household. They are freaking the fuck out with excitement but NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

It's time to get this party started.

She was due yesterday. I'm still pregnant. Meh.

The due date was yesterday. No action so far. I've been walking walking and walking some more. We've been having awkward giant pregnant belly sex as much as possible. I'm about to start chugging castor oil if there is no progress soon. I just don't want the poor kid to have a Christmas birthday. She keeps dropping further and further which is resulting in nothing but an abundance of extremely unpleasant round ligament pain.

The anticipation is driving me nuts! It's like that feeling you would get when you were a kid on Christmas Eve; you are so excited to see what Santa brought, but Christmas morning seems UNBEARABLY far away. I just want to meet her and see her little face and hear her little noises and smell her baby smell!

I know that 40 weeks is just an average and that first babies have a tendency to be late... buuuuutttttt now that the magical semi-arbitrary due date has come and gone, I'm getting antsy as fuck. I JUST WANT THIS KID OUT!

So in the meantime I'm placating myself with doughnuts and Gilmore Girls and bubble baths and as many foot rubs as I can cajole out of my dear husband. The house is clean and all laundry has been done. All my Christmas shopping is completed and the gifts are wrapped. Nothing like the impending arrival of a newborn to get my ass motivated to get the Christmas shopping done ahead of time for the first time ever.

God I hope she's born soon. Everyone I know who has a birthday near Christmas abhors it. (And I've heard all about them, ever since we got pregnant and started telling people the due date I've heard alllllllllll the Christmas birthday stories, do trust.) Not to mention I absolutely cannot wait for sushi and wine. Oh man, sushi and wine, nom nom nom.

Dudes, I am super pregnant.

I am due in 10 days. WTF!?! Some new developments since I last discussed pregnancy:

I can't see my lady bits, like, at all. It's weird. Personal grooming has gone out the window. I scored a Groupon for a $25 wax job, so we'll have that issue addressed on Tuesday. I can't wait. Things are getting ridiculous down there and considering how many people are about to be staring at it, something has got to be done.

My boobs just keep growing. They grew a ton the first trimester and then pretty much plateaued, until last week. Suddenly they are significantly bigger again and let's be serious, as someone who is normally a smallish B, I'm loving it.

The baby dropped overnight. Literally, I woke up Tuesday morning, looked in the mirror, and was shocked. The shape of my belly had completely changed overnight. So naturally, I immediately texted my sister a nudy pic and she confirmed that my belly did, in fact, look completely different than Thanksgiving weekend when I was prancing around naked in front of her while we marveled over my ginormous belly.

 

(Disregard the awkward angle of this picture that makes my legs look strangely short. The photographer was my husband standing in his boxers exasperatedly (spell check said it's a word!) taking a quick picture for me after I drug him out of the guest bathroom that he was in the middle of painting the most perfect shade of retro doctor office green.)

I'm dilated! Ok, so as of Thursday morning it was only half a centimeter, but hey, that's progress. The doctor was actually able to poke the top of the baby's head!

I can't sleep. I've always had insomnia issues, but it has gotten out of control over the past two weeks. I am suddenly a super duper light sleeper; as in, my dog stands by the bed and stares at me and I wake up. I am also finding myself waking up for no reason and immediately being wide as fuck awake. I don't know if it's my body preparing to care for a newborn throughout the night or just my hormones being janky, but I am not a fan, not one bit.

I have gained almost 50 pounds. I am normally a thin person (it's a combo of getting lucky in the genetic lottery + clean eating + having a very energetic German Shepherd who requires an absurd amount of speed walks). The weight gain isn't bothering me too much, except that I see it in my face big time. But it's ok because soon I'll be breastfeeding constantly, eating super clean again, and be able to walk faster than a geriatric sloth. Speaking of...

I walk slower than your grandma. If I walk fast, at all, I get Braxton Hicks contractions. Not a fan. My dog seems to be enjoying the shift to more sniffing time on the walks and significantly more dog park time, but it's driving me crazy. Plus, now that she's dropped it feels different/strange (and not in a good way) and I'm getting dangerously close to waddle status. Not cute.

And now I leave you with these delightful gems from our maternity photoshoot. The photographer is a good friend of ours, and we had fun goofing around with her and along with a ton of amazing shots, she also captured some ridiculous ones.

Caitlin Jamison Photography is amazing!

FYI: The middle one is Lee sneaking in a little bit of dinosaur. It's a thing that has been happening in our friend group since college. Basically, T-Rex impressions are hilarious when you're drunk.

All natural birth, I'm doing it. (eek!)

When I first got pregnant, I just didn't think about the whole birth thing. I mean, I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just kept putting it off as something I would think about later. Newborns seem so very teeny tiny... until you think about one exiting through your lady bits. So I chose to ignore that inevitable event for the first half of my pregnancy.

Caitlin Jamison Photography

Now that we are nearly 38 weeks, I'm thinking about it constantly, and it no longer terrifies me.  Why? Because my best coping mechanism is knowledge and I've been researching the crap out of it. I have been reading all sorts of books, articles, and blogs about birth and breastfeeding. My husband and I are taking twelve weeks of classes on The Bradley Method. I have been talking to every mother I know about their birth experiences (and wow do they vary drastically!).

So I had to make some decisions about how I want all of this to go down. I always had a feeling that I wanted to go all natural, but the more I research, the more sure I am. My approach to labor and delivery is that while yes, I will be giving birth in a hospital, it is because I want to be prepared for a worst case scenario. However, my birth will most likely be low-risk, normal, and should not require any medical intervention.  Birth is a natural event, it is not a medical emergency. My body is amazing and knows what it is doing, I just have to go with the flow (albeit a painful and exhausting flow).

We have hired a doula. I plan to labor at home for as long as possible. I do not want an IV, epidural, or any sort of drugs. I won't go into it all here because I could go on for days, but basically there is a lot of evidence that all the medical interventions now considered to a normal part of birth in American hospitals (induction, epidurals, pitocin, etc.) have a tendency to create a need for further medical intervention (and a scary high rate of cesarean sections).

Some of the things that I keep reminding myself of:

• Women have been doing it since the beginning of time, it's only recently that women have been giving birth drugged (and holy shit the early stuff was s-c-a-r-y).
• Babies born naturally have a tendency to be more alert and responsive after birth.
• Mothers who give birth naturally have a tendency to recover faster.
• The initial breastfeeding has a tendency to be easier for babies born naturally.
• The drugs in a mother's system can inhibit the release and reception of the hormones that cause the natural "high" mothers experience immediately post-birth.

So yup, I'm doing it all naturally. And while yes, it intimidates the hell out of me, women have been doing it since the beginning of time and I can do it too. Hopefully it will all go smoothly and there will be no need for medical intervention, only monitoring. So wish me luck, because in a couple of weeks I'm going to be squeezing a tiny human out of my vag and feeling every bit of it. Gah!

Please keep your opinions on my belly size to yourself, jerkface.

I am tall (5'10") and, until about six months ago, thin. I feel like my belly is quite large and continues to grow larger with each passing day (and Cook-Out milkshake). Apparently the rest of the world does not.

I am so over the constant "I can't believe you are so far along!" and "But you're so small!" A while ago I read a post (I wish I remembered where) on how a pregnant woman's belly will never be the right size, people will constantly tell a pregnant woman that her belly is either too big or too small, or both. SO TRUE.

People, please keep your opinions on my belly size to yourself. I actually find it sort of offensive when people tell me that my belly is small. I realize that many of them intend it to be a compliment since our culture is so fucked up and obsessed with weight that people think that telling a PREGNANT woman that her belly is small is a good thing

What these people don't know, is that we have a marginal cord insertion, which means that the umbilical cord is attached to the side of the placenta instead of the center, which in some cases can lead to undernourishment. We've been monitoring her growth and I am happy to report that as of last week, she is roughly four pounds which is perfectly average for 32 weeks! But my baby being too small is still a sensitive subject for me.

So please, tell a pregnant woman that she is beautiful, she is glowing, or even that her tits look fantastic, but keep your opinions on her belly size to yourself. She gives zero shits about your arbitrary opinion on the size of her baby belly, I promise.

Fun fact: your belly size (from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus when lying down)  should roughly equal the number of weeks that you are pregnant. For example, the fact that I am 32 weeks pregnant and my belly measures 32 centimeters means that I am actually textbook average. Booyah!

I love my perfectly average baby belly. Suck it haters.

Don't be jealous of my sweet 80s maternity flannel.

I have a new favorite maternity shirt. My mom "borrowed" it from my dad's closet when she was pregnant with me and proceeded to wear it throughout all three of her pregnancies. She loved it so much that it was still lurking in the back of her closet last week (her youngest baby is now 22). I adore it. It is super comfy, perfectly long, and I'm loving the bitchin' purple/turquoise combo.

I am now in my third trimester. Whaaaaaaaaaat? It's time to start seriously thinking about how this human is going to exit my womb...yikes.

As I mentioned previously, I greatly appreciate all the bloggers who share about their pregnancies. I have always been intrigued by pregnancy and babies, and always enjoy leaning as much as I can. So here are some more of my experiences as of 27 weeks into this, that some pregnant ladies may not be sharing with you during casual conversation:

I can see the bottom of my belly button. I have a pretty average innie (I guess?), and have never really been able to see the very very bottom where all the skin gathers. It is now stretched wide open and I'm not gonna lie, it's slightly disconcerting.

Boob veins.  Before I spent a glorious long weekend at the beach earlier this month, I was looking quite pale, per usual, and had all these huge crazy blue veins suddenly appear all over my chest and boobs. My body is preparing to sustain a human life, NBD.

Dark nipples. And on the topic of my newly large(ish) breasticles, my nipples have completely changed colors. Whoa.

Pantyliners are a must. A friend had warned me about the need for pantyliners during pregnancy, especially towards the end. Yup, she wasn't lying. About week 25 I discovered that little joy.

Swollen feet. So my body is doing this new cool thing where if I am on my feet continually for more than an hour or two, they swell. A lot. To the point where I have to cram them into my Tom's like sausage into a casing. My ankles always join the party too, mmmmm... cankles.

Doin' it. While my libido has definitely increased, so has my sensitivity and my girth. It's a delicate balance and while it is still quite enjoyable, I sure am looking forward to someday doin' it sans giant belly containing our kicking offspring.

In some ways, I can't believe I only have three months left! In three short months we will suddenly find ourselves with a newborn that is completely and 100% our responsibility. Eek! But at the same time, I also can't believe I have three months still to go, my belly is starting to be a real nuisance and her kicks already seem so strong. She nailed me in the top of my bladder a couple days ago and I nearly wet myself. True story.

Birthday Baby Bump

I turned 28 on Wednesday. And while 28 is a bit intimidating as I can no longer claim to be in my mid-twenties, I am happy with where I am right now. I am married to my best friend, back in North Carolina surrounded by friends and family, and creating my new favorite human with my magical baby making belly.

My standard birthday dinner is sushi and martinis, but considering both are off limits at the moment, we did fondue instead. It was delicious and super fun. We did the full on four course meal: cheese, salad, oil, and chocolate. Nom nom nom.

I'll be 24 weeks tomorrow and feeling quite pregnant. I swear, my belly gets bigger every day. My app says that my uterus is now the size of a soccer ball (it starts out the size of a large lemon). My constant state of being is either hungry, sleepy, or both. I often have to get back up out of bed to make myself a second dinner because I will suddenly be absolutely starving and breakfast is just too far away.

I'm feeling her little kicks every day. Lee felt her kick for the first time a couple nights ago, which was cool. It's a strange feeling, knowing that it's a tiny human inside my belly that's squirming all around and kicking me from the inside out. With every kick, I get more and more excited to meet her, this tiny human that is going to change me and my life forever.

Only 113(ish) more days until she arrives! It seems so soon and yet so far away. We have a lot to do before then like sell our Nashville house, buy a house here, move out of my in-laws' basement, and acquire all the many many things that it apparently takes to successfully care for a newborn. Seriously guys, ohmygod. My sister-in-law (aka mother of two wee ones) took me to Babies"R"Us to help me register for baby crap and whoa. I don't know how the human race survived with women having babies in caves for so long as apparently newborns and toddlers require approximately 734 various plastic items to survive in the world. It's bonkers.

We found out what the baby has in its pants!

We had our anatomy ultrasound on Monday, which included the baby's pants parts! So Tuesday, I announced the pregnancy/gender on Facebook:

*I don't share our last name on the blog because A) the internet is full of creepers and B) I don't want my blog to pop up in search results when someone (for example, a potential employer) searches my name.

Since we're planning on several kids (threeish), neither of us had our heart set on a certain gender. We are so excited to be having a baby girl! I had a feeling it was a girl. Whenever I dream about the baby, she's always a toddler, about a year and a half old, and always in pigtails and always absolutely adorable. Early in the pregnancy, I found myself using the pronouns "she" and "her" when I wasn't thinking and slipped up. I was right!

Knowing that's its a girl and seeing her squirm all around on the ultrasound just made me want to meet her so badly! I can't believe we have to wait 19.5 more weeks, gah! I know it will fly by though. And despite the below picture, we have high hopes that she will be super cute.

Pregnancy is weird.

The baby is 18.5 weeks along, also known as almost halfway through my pregnancy. Whaaaaaat!?! When the shit did that happen? While the days have felt long and nausea-tastic, the weeks are flying by.

I "popped" this week. I finally look pregnant instead of bloated, and I'm quite pleased about it. Since I'm taller than the average lady (5'10"), it has taken longer for me to start showing. Yesterday, a random coworker asked if I am expecting. I have officially upgraded from looking bloated with a food baby to looking pregnant with a real baby! And my boobs just keep on growing, which is quite delightful.

Finally looking knocked up! And Poindexter, aka Captain Photobomb.

I have absolutely loved how much bloggers share about their pregnancies, deliveries, and momming (yes, I am using that as a verb) experiences. I am the first of all my good friends to get knocked up, so they are absolutely no help when it comes to my bazillion questions about pregnancy and delivery. My mom's answers to at least half of my questions are "Oh, um, geez I don't remember." Thank goodness the blogosphere has come to my rescue! I want to know all the grizzly details, and thankfully, a lot of bloggers have shared them.

So I want to return the favor, here are some of my observations and experiences so far:

The first trimester is rough. While I was exhausted and nauseated all day everyday, the pregnancy was a secret so I had to put on a smile and suffer through work pretending to feel fine. Once I told my team about the pregnancy, they said they had noticed that I had gotten a lot quieter and sorta antisocial recently. Ha! I was too busy concentrating on not puking on my keyboard to be cracking jokes.

I am now merely tired rather than totally exhausted, the nausea subsided a couple weeks ago, my afternoon hormone headaches have lessened, and I FEEL GREAT (most of the time)! I now understand the women who say that they love being pregnant.

Spotting. I had some occasional spotting for a couple weeks during my first trimester. The first time it happened, at work of course, I freaked out. I had no I idea that it is actually fairly common. Thank goodness for the Google on my iPhone, for reals. Also, (luckily the internets had already given me a heads up on this one) it is not uncommon to bleed during/after sex. I only experienced this delight during my first trimester, and I am very happy to say that all is well in that department these days.

Morons. I really really like my personal space. Coworkers are already petting my stomach without my consent. WTF? I am barely showing and people already think it's totally cool to just reach out and put their hands on my body. NO. No no no. I do not like this and I know it's only going to get worse as I get bigger, but it is so very not ok with me.

I am so hungry. So very hungry all the time. I mean, I knew this would happen, but whoa. At least 30% of my time in meetings at work is spent fantasizing about my next meal. I am doing a damn good job of buying only organic and eating a balanced diet of healthiness. However, the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich combo is my kryptonite.

Mmmmm... look at that french fry grease! That shit is so damn good. I am constantly craving french fries, and when I decide to treat myself, why not get a sandwich and drink to go along with them? I have decided that as long as I eat it less than once a week, I'm good.


Well that's all the pregnancy chat for now, folks. It's time for me to start getting shit done. We fly out to a family reunion in Binghamton, NY this afternoon, and I am 0% prepared.

But first, I need to go see what's available in the kitchen for second breakfast...

Knocked Up

That's right folks, I am making a human inside my uterus because the female body is an amazing thing.

We couldn't be more excited. We were definitely trying to get pregnant, and had been for a while. That being said, there was a period of disbelief and shock after that second little pink line appeared. I mean, HOLY SHIT THERE'S A BABY IN THERE!

We found out at 5 weeks, I'm 14 weeks now. We've starting telling friends and extended family and it's so fun to share the news! I told my team at work on Wednesday, and it was such a relief to be able to wear a dress that showed my my tiny baby bump on Thursday. Pants are now uncomfortable and stupid, although I've always been a big fan of skirts and dresses anyways.

I'm now at the stage where you can't tell if I'm pregnant, or if I've just been indulging in ice cream and french fries too much lately (too be honest, it's a little of both, shhhh...). I'm looking forward to having a cute little baby bump soon instead of being in the awkward stage where people are afraid to ask.

My tits look amazing through.