Dudes, I am super pregnant.

I am due in 10 days. WTF!?! Some new developments since I last discussed pregnancy:

I can't see my lady bits, like, at all. It's weird. Personal grooming has gone out the window. I scored a Groupon for a $25 wax job, so we'll have that issue addressed on Tuesday. I can't wait. Things are getting ridiculous down there and considering how many people are about to be staring at it, something has got to be done.

My boobs just keep growing. They grew a ton the first trimester and then pretty much plateaued, until last week. Suddenly they are significantly bigger again and let's be serious, as someone who is normally a smallish B, I'm loving it.

The baby dropped overnight. Literally, I woke up Tuesday morning, looked in the mirror, and was shocked. The shape of my belly had completely changed overnight. So naturally, I immediately texted my sister a nudy pic and she confirmed that my belly did, in fact, look completely different than Thanksgiving weekend when I was prancing around naked in front of her while we marveled over my ginormous belly.

 

(Disregard the awkward angle of this picture that makes my legs look strangely short. The photographer was my husband standing in his boxers exasperatedly (spell check said it's a word!) taking a quick picture for me after I drug him out of the guest bathroom that he was in the middle of painting the most perfect shade of retro doctor office green.)

I'm dilated! Ok, so as of Thursday morning it was only half a centimeter, but hey, that's progress. The doctor was actually able to poke the top of the baby's head!

I can't sleep. I've always had insomnia issues, but it has gotten out of control over the past two weeks. I am suddenly a super duper light sleeper; as in, my dog stands by the bed and stares at me and I wake up. I am also finding myself waking up for no reason and immediately being wide as fuck awake. I don't know if it's my body preparing to care for a newborn throughout the night or just my hormones being janky, but I am not a fan, not one bit.

I have gained almost 50 pounds. I am normally a thin person (it's a combo of getting lucky in the genetic lottery + clean eating + having a very energetic German Shepherd who requires an absurd amount of speed walks). The weight gain isn't bothering me too much, except that I see it in my face big time. But it's ok because soon I'll be breastfeeding constantly, eating super clean again, and be able to walk faster than a geriatric sloth. Speaking of...

I walk slower than your grandma. If I walk fast, at all, I get Braxton Hicks contractions. Not a fan. My dog seems to be enjoying the shift to more sniffing time on the walks and significantly more dog park time, but it's driving me crazy. Plus, now that she's dropped it feels different/strange (and not in a good way) and I'm getting dangerously close to waddle status. Not cute.

And now I leave you with these delightful gems from our maternity photoshoot. The photographer is a good friend of ours, and we had fun goofing around with her and along with a ton of amazing shots, she also captured some ridiculous ones.

Caitlin Jamison Photography is amazing!

FYI: The middle one is Lee sneaking in a little bit of dinosaur. It's a thing that has been happening in our friend group since college. Basically, T-Rex impressions are hilarious when you're drunk.